I Ate Nothing But Doritos for a Week — Here's What Happened

One brave (or foolish) snack lover documents their week-long Dorito diet experiment. Spoiler: it was both amazing and terrible.

It started as a dare. My roommate bet me $50 I couldn't survive on Doritos alone for a full week. Reader, I accepted that bet.

Day 1 was glorious. Nacho Cheese for breakfast, Cool Ranch for lunch, Spicy Nacho for dinner. I felt like a king of the snack world.

Day 3 was when things got... interesting. My fingers were permanently orange. I started dreaming in triangles. My coworkers could smell me coming from three cubicles away.

By Day 5, I had consumed approximately 14 bags of various flavors. I had developed strong opinions about which flavors pair best with which times of day (Nacho Cheese is a morning chip, fight me).

Day 7: I won the bet. I also learned that the human body is remarkably adaptable, that Doritos dust is nearly impossible to wash off completely, and that I have a problem.

Would I do it again? Absolutely not. Would I recommend it? Also absolutely not. But do I still love Doritos? More than ever.